Past Memories
by saraki
Summary: Meryl and Vash have been a couple for no less than a few weeks,if you can even call it a couple, but as time goes on an Meryl and Vash get in a fight, finally breaking down Meryl leaves Vash to realize something she wants him to find out for himself..comp
1. Letting go

"Vash! you still don't understand!"

She screamed in frustration,

"I don't get what you're saying!"

He screamed back,

_Why can't I make you understand? _

"I don't get you Vash! After all this time I still can't make you understand!"

Unable to drink her coffee she placed it on the counter, frustration clearly on her face,

"I come home everyday don't I! And on time! I also clean up part of the house and do part of the chores! What more do you want!"

He lashed out at to her,

_You don't get it do you?_

"I don't care about that Vash!"

She snapped back,

"Then what the hell do you want from me Meryl!"

"After all this time we've been together, you still can't see it?"

She screamed again, her face as was red from their arguing

"See what! All I hear is you bitching about this something that isn't even important!"

_So, I'm not really important to you..._

Vash regretted it the moment he said it as she looked up at him in disbelief, he nervously bit his lower lip, he gone too far…

"Meryl?"

Overcome with fear he progressed gently towards her. He had never seen her like this, and it scared him more than when she was angry,

"Meryl,"

He touched her gently, her eyes flickered away as she cocked her head to one side, quickly taking a step back from him.

With ought another word, she walked to her room, her face still had that haunting visage he never wanted to see on her face ever again, it scared him to see her so... so negated of emotions,

"Meryl were are you going?"

He followed her up the stairs and to her room, were she slammed the door in front of him, locking it in the process,

_Guess you really are clueless, Vash..._

He could hear rustling from the other side of the door, he leaned closer to hear, and stepped back after a couple of seconds,

"Meryl, what are you doing?"

He never liked to see her cry, he would never want to make her cry, he absolutely hated it, but this time it was different, he could feel it. She would usually get mad at him and then forget, but this time, she wasn't even mad...

She opened the door slowly, her face was stern as he looked down, taking moment to figure out why she had her pink suitcase with her, his eyes widened in realization.

"M-Meryl..."

As she left down the stairs, Vash quickly followed behind,

"W-were are you going Meryl?"

His voice trembled.

"Vash,"

She spoke softly,

"I'm leaving,"

He stood there shocked, tears threatened to overwhelm him as he watched her, angry at her unexpected decision to leave.

"But why! It was just a stupid little fight!"

She flinched,

"I'm sorry!"

He cried,

_How many times have you told me that?_

"Vash, I just can't take it anymore,"

"What is it that you can't take! Is it my drinking? My hair? The way I act? The way I dress? Please tell me Meryl, so I can fix it!"

_You have to figure that out for yourself... _

"I can't tell you Vash, if you can't figure out what's wrong, then there is no reason for me to stay and pretend,"

"Pretend? Pretend what?"

She smiled sadly,

"You're a smart man Vash, you'll figure it out,"

"Please don't leave Meryl!"

He was on his knees at this point, crying,

_Please stop, it hurts so much to see you like this, but I can't live on a foundation of lies..._

"I have to Vash, until you realize it, you still have your brother here, so you won't be alone,"

"I don't want you to go,"

_I don't either, but this is the only way to find out_

"When you figure it out, come look for me Vash, I'll be waiting, don't worry, I just need you to realize it, you need time to figure it out,"

She slowly walked away from him, her pink suitcase rolling behind her, she felt horrible for doing it, but it was the only way to find out,

_I hate myself for hurting you..._

She opened the door to the car and closed it, she started the engine.

_But... _

"Meryl!"

_I need to know..._

She didn't look to her right, he tapped the window again.

"Meryl we can talk about this!"

He screamed louder as he felt the car hum, tears streaming down his face harder as he tried to stay calm, but his emotions betrayed him as he desperately called out to her.

_If I get out, then I'll never really find out..._

"Do what I told you Vash, I need to know,"

She chocked as she hit the pedal and the car started to run,

"Meryl! This is stupid!"

He ran after the car, tapping at the window forcefully,

"Meryl!"

Finding the speed picking up he started to try and open the door to get in, but failed miserably as he realized she had locked it.

She was on the verge of tears,

_Don't look... Don't look at him, you can't go back, not now, _

He started to slowly fall behind until she had speed away, he coughed heavily as the dust scattered everywhere. He saw the car slowly disappear, feeling drained emotionally and physically he walked back to the house slowly. He fell to his knees and then to the ground after he was close to the porch, not wanting to get up by the sudden lack of energy he laid there quietly, watching as the sky grew brighter. The sand felt cool on his cheeks, soon the blistering suns would come out and heat the sand. But he didn't care, he didn't even care about the humming noise behind him, not at that precise moment, slowly closed his eyes from fatigue, too tired and confused at the moment to care what the sun would do he fell asleep.


	2. Confusion

"Vash, who's Rem?"

"She's somebody I knew a long time ago, I have to go Meryl, or else I'll be late for work, bye,"

"Wait!….Vash,"

……………..

* * *

"Vash… she left,"

"I know, but this is what she wanted…"

"But it's going to be so quiet in the house with ought her…"

"I know, but you'll always have me to keep you company,"

"That's what I'm afraid of,"

"Hey, no fair! Why are you always picking on me?"

"Cause you're the only idiot I know"

"True, but I'm the idiot who will always be there for you,"

"I know,"

………….

* * *

"Huaghhh"

He felt cold sweat was running down his face

"Vash are you okay?"

Confusion struck his face momentarily, he watched his brother approached his bed, it took him a moment to grasp what Knives told him.

"Yea, I'm ok- OWWWW!"

Knives swiftly punched Vash in the face, Vash rubbed his cheek idly,

"What was that for?"

"For being a moron!"

Knives snapped at his brother

"Thanks for caring,"

Vash bitterly answered

"So what you do this time to piss her off brother?"

"God I don't know! We were talking then it sort of escalated,"

"What were you taking about?"

Vash gave a heavy sighed, slowly getting up he crossed his legs on the bed and sat up straight, scratching the back of his head lightly,

" I guess you could say I came home drunk last night, we got up to eat breakfast and she asked me what was wrong, that I never drink that bad unless there's something wrong, of course she didn't believe me when I told her that nothing was wrong and we started fighting, I don't know how it got to be so bad that she wanted to leave…."

"So you don't know why she left?"

Knives interrupted Vash, giving him a glass of water, he shook his head

"No, but she want me to "realize" something, what the hell am I suppose to realize? I haven't a clue, women! I mean, the black cat is much more easier to understand than women! There so unpredictable!"

"Vash"

"Yea,"

"Stop whining and figure out what that woman wants,"

"I'm not whining!"

"Look just dump the woman if she's so much trouble and let's get on with our lives,"

"I can't…"

He shook his head miserably,

"You don't understand Knives, I mean, I really, really love her-"

"Let me guess, you were going to ask her to marry you and you were scared of what would happen, so you kept postponing, finding it harder to do and pushing it back to a point that you had to drink to feel better"

"That about sums it up…"

"And you don't know why she's mad?"

He nodded,

"You are an idiot, I mean if I was her I would of done the same dam thing,"

"But I-DID-NOT-DO anything wrong!"

"Look Vash, you know better than anyone that I still loath humans, I especially loath that large cocky female who left a while back, but all I want is your happiness, Eden, I had figured out, is were the family lies,"

Knives grimaced as Vash smiled

"That love and peace crap you've been spewing is getting to me…"

Vash grinned as he got up and stretched,

"So… any donuts?"


	3. Confession

They silently sat down in the chairs that were in the kitchen, the clock shaped cat struck three as they ate, the headache he had obtained earlier had slowly dissimilated,

'I can't even remember what time I came back home the night before we fought, my head hurt like hell too,"

He used his other hand to take hold of a bag of ice he had filled up after coming down the stairs. Putting it on his cheek he winced slightly at the bitter cold the small bag of ice produced. Snatching a box of donuts from the table he bit into one hungrily, savoring the sweet taste it produced. The kitchen, he noticed, was relatively small and in dire need of repair, the faucet from were they drew out water leaked with a drip drop pattern, the fridge was somewhat broken from the side, barely humming as it gave a sign of life. The table was partly chipped but in good condition, the chairs were old and somewhat whittled from the sides. The stove was in poor condition as well, he had tried to fix it, but had managed to make it worse as it decided to burst into flames the minute he had touched it. After that he was banned form touching the new stove, and the boiler, and the radio…. And a lot of other things…. Mostly everything that worked actually…. Sighing slightly his gaze fell towards the dripping faucet, the rhythm momentarily hypnotizing him as he fell into a deep reverie.

* * *

"Vash we need to talk about our relationship… I think it's important…"

"Not now Meryl, I have to go somewhere,"

"But-"

"I'll be back in a flash, you won't even know I'm gone"

"But… Vash…"

* * *

"VASH! STOP DAYDREAMING YOU MORON!"

Vash looked up at his brother in shock, nearly choking at the donuts he had in his mouth and thumping his chest loudly as he tried to talk, suddenly realizing he had practically stuffed the whole box of donuts in his mouth. Earning a disgusted look from Knives he swallowed, took a deep breath, and looked up at his brother.

"What?"

Knives sat near his brother, rubbing his forehead lightly, momentarily wishing he had his gun, he sighed petulantly as he looked at Vash,

"So, you want to finish up now so we can talk about how you're going to get her to come back!"

Vash though for a moment, his face became stern with determination, getting up he walking into the living room, Knives followed slowly. Vash sat comfortably on a chair while Knives sat on the small sofa in the room, as he looked around though, he found the room distasteful, there was one sofa, worn out but not the least bumpy as one would expect something old and worn out would feel like, a cushioned blue dyed chair, the one Vash was momentarily seated on and a small green sofa located near the door by the radio. The table in the middle of the room was a small and oval shaped but in very good condition as it looked relatively new. There were two windows, each on the sides of the door, the curtains were of red fabric. The room held pictures of the three, the big woman, the small one and Vash, smiling brightly in each one, all different…

'Pathetic,'

Knives thought coldly,

'But this is what he wants… pity…. that these human females will eventually wither and die, after that he will be left with nothing… '

Knives looked at his brother, Vash loved this woman and it seemed that she loved him as well, I should be happy, but every time I think about this 'love' between the two I feel this sudden twitch inside me… can it be jealousy? Can such a thing be in a superior breed of life? No, I have no jealousy, I am perfect, I am a superior being incapable of such blasphemous feeling, feelings that only the Homo sapiens posses, that is what differentiates us from humans... of course…

"I've got it!"

Vash yelled happily Knives dismissed his earlier thoughts as a waste of time, he gave his full attention to Vash,

"Then pray tell, dear brother,"

"Ok, plan A I'll buy her a gift and some chocolates, if that does not work, then I'll go with plan B, apologize about the fight, if that doesn't work then I'll go with plan C, bring her back whether she likes it or not find out what she meant,"

"Plan A wont work, that female is not stupid, Plan B will not work, the reason she left is because she wants you to actually figure out what she wants and plan C is even more pitiful than the other plans, since she won't be brought here by force and I'm willing to wager the person she is living with, if I am correct has a stun gun and the small one, has fifty derringers,"

Vash looked at his brother momentarily before looking at the ground,

"I forgot about that….."

He slumped in his chair with a defeated look,

"Well I'm out of ideas,"

Knives shook his head, his brother could be really stupid sometimes, almost made him wonder if they were brothers, they were polar opposites, different in almost everything, but I guess the only thing he wanted was to be near Vash…. And he got it,

He looked at his brother as he pouted in his chair like a child,

'How in hell could we be related!'

He sighed as he looked at his brother, before clearing his throat to talk,

"What about plan D?"

Vash looked up at Knives,

"Plan D? I don't have a plan D,"

"I do,"

"What!"

He jumped up from the couch and sat up straight,

"Plan D, Figure out what that woman wants and then go find her,"

"Oh,"

He slumped back into his chair,

Knives got up slowly with an irritated sigh,

"I have to go Vash, but if you were wondering, she left to the orphanage east of here, with that large female,"

Vash frowned slightly as he looked at his brother,

"Knives how many times have I told you not to read other peoples thoughts,"

"I know, when she realized I was reading her mind, she screamed at me to get out, that blasted woman gave me headache,"

"Well that's what you get for going through other peoples heads,"

Knives ignored the comment as he looked at Vash,

"Well brother, don't get into too much trouble, next time I wont come here to help you, honestly Vash, you can be so reckless,"

'That's why I'm called the Humanoid Typhoon,"

Knives smile wavered,

"Guess your right brother, but don't you mean the legendary Typhoon, that name is the past brother, your Vash now, no more Vash the Stampede,"

"Knives and Vash Saverm,"

Knives opened the door and peered out into the dessert,

"Its okay brother, you were just confused, we were both confused, life was hard, we were alone after the ship fell, no one was there to protect us from the revulsions we had in ourselves, but now we have each other, brother, and people that care about us too, remember Knives, the actions of the few cannot account for the many that live on this planet,"

"I know Vash, now I realize that, I have also realized why she's so important to you, she was always there for you, and would give her life for you, I admire her for that…"

He paused slightly before continuing,

"You want to know something Vash, she taught me as much as you did, it took me a long time to figure out, that Meryl was truly special, not like every other human on this miserable planet…. this is the second time, Vash, that you have beaten me and gotten something glorious in the end, I assume Rem really was watching over you…"

"She was watching over both of us Knives, never forget that…"

Knives stood there for a moment longer before leaving, Vash could hear the car start and descend onto the sand. Vash walked out and saw his brother depart, he leaned against the side of the door gently, watching the car his brother was driving vanish into the dessert.

"I know Knives, but you'll find someone special someday, and when you do, you will experience true happiness, one that brotherly love can't fill, one that I feel… when I'm with Meryl, "

* * *

Sorry for not updating sooner, I know its getting to be very confusing, but don't worry, things will clear up, thank you for the pointers, and I'm going to go back and fix the (cough) errors (cough) that I made. I hope you enjoy,

later


	4. Realization

So. On the first night,  
somewhere a pebble fell to the world.

So. On the second night,  
from the pebble depicted a waltz.  
Sound life

So. On the third night,  
from the waltz, a wave hits the surface of the earth.

So. On the fourth night,  
the wave splashes on the riverbank.  
Sound life…

Vash quietly stopped, as he sat on top of the roof, quietly contemplating. Looking up at the stars, he sighed miserably.

"You haven't been gone more than a week, and already I miss you so much…"

Why was it her? How did this happen? I really can't remember….

It just happened…

Were did I go wrong?

How can someone affect me this much?

I remember the first time I started feeling something for her but I can't remember exactly when it got so strong, the first time I realized it was when I defeated Knives and came back, when I saw her I felt relieved to see her. Millie was the first to run up to me, embracing me in a quick hug and a warm smile she took my brother into the house. Meryl came up to me, I expected a smile or even a warm embrace like Millie had done, but instead she extended her hand, I looked at it, feeling a bit disappointed, but smiled and shook it. I remember how soft her hand felt in mine, and decided, for some strange reason to hug her, of course she was shocked, but I felt relieved when she relaxed and didn't back up or hurt me, instead she hugged me back. That's when I realized that I felt something for her... and she must of felt something for me, we stayed like that for a long time, not saying a word to each other, I don't know how it really happen, but we started inching together, and I kissed her, her lips felt so soft against mine…

Looking down Vash inched his knees towards his chest, feeling something on his face he touched it, surprised at the tears he had wiped off his cheeks, had he been crying?

He smiled sadly, laughing quietly under his breath, maybe it was better this way… maybe he didn't deserve her, she would find someone else in her life, marry and eventually have children. She would live on with ought him, he would only bury his misery into her soul deeper, she's suffered enough and it was all because of him. Looking up at the blackened sky, he closed his eyes as he faced the sky, tears streaming down his cheeks,

'She's too good for me….she'll always be too good for me…'

Tears fell onto his prosthetic arm as he looked at it, bringing it towards his face, watching as he motioned his prosthetic hand to move in a circular motion,

"And yet…. I can't go on with ought her, she's my lifeline…"

He looked up as he fell backwards, gazing at the stars he started to feel everything around him fade into nothing,

"Rem… am I wrong…. To love her? …am I being selfish?"

He gently closed his eyes as he felt the cool winds caress his cheeks,

* * *

"Vash! Your brother!"

"Shhh don't worry Meryl I won't let anything happen to you or

Milly,"

"I know… but… Promise me…"

"…………..I promise"

"………….."

* * *

"Do you love me Vash?"

"Of course,"

"No Vash, I mean, do you really love me?"

"Don't ask silly questions that you already now the answer to Meryl."

"…….."

………….

* * *

"Vash! Please trust me! Vash!... Ho Vash…how can I help you heal if you wont let me in?"

* * *

'Meryl?...'

I woke up groggily, the morning light was sprayed my face lightly, watching as the suns rose, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes stopping momentarily.

'I keep having these dreams… why? A few promises I made……"

I stopped as I realized what I had said, how could I had been so stupid? Promises I made, but never kept…..

I promised to never lie…

But I failed, when I would leave to the tavern and said I was going to a job I never had.

I promised to always be there for you…

But I failed, because I really was never there for you, I was never really at home,

I promised you we would talk….

But I failed, I never really realized until now how important this was to you.

I promised to protect you…

But failed when I would leave you alone with Knives when he was still acting strange.

I told you I loved you…

But I was never specific enough, I really never thought those words were important, but now I realize…

I was scared… of what would happen if you would of said yes…

But I can say it now, I truly know now we were meant to be together, now that I feel I know what you meant, Meryl, the only words you really wanted to hear, how could I have been so blind? I could try to force myself into denial and say I didn't, but what good would that do? If I don't give it a chance then I will never find out if we were really meant for each other… five simple words…

He smiled, as he ran of the roof,

I love you Meryl Stryfe…

And I'm not about to loose you…


	5. Uncertainty

Millie looked hesitantly at Meryl as they strolled through the orphanages entrance, going out into the porch were they walked even slower, Millie bit her lip lightly. It had been about a week since Meryl came to the orphanage, and since then had not even spoken about Vash, finding this the right time to speak to her upon the issue Millie swallow lightly before confronting Meryl about the argument she had with Vash.

"Meryl?"

"What is it Millie?"

"Are you sure you did the right thing? I mean the fight sounds a little silly to me..."

"No Millie, it wasn't just the fight that started this….."

Millie looked at her in a puzzled looked,

"Gee Meryl, but I thought the reason you left was because you wanted him to think over the things he promised you,"

"Well yes, that's part of the reason…"

"Meryl, what's the other part of the reason?"

"Millie-"

Before she could finish, they heard a familiar yell coming from the dessert, Millie squinted at the image, momentarily forgetting the conversation with Meryl she waved at the man in the distance,

"Meryl! It's Mr. Vash!"

"Vash?"

"Meeeryllll!"

Vash yelled from the distance as his voice suddenly grew louder,

"Meryl… I think Mr. Vash needs our help with that thomas…"

Meryl watched as she felt a sudden familiar pain throbbing in her forehead, yes… it was a headache coming on, only Vash the stampede could give her a headache from far, far away... She watched in pure horror as he waddled heavily from one side as his other a leg flung into the air, barely holding on to the thomas for dear life, as he neared the girls they watched as he fell off the thomas heavily, the thomas running frantically east of the orphanage, stopping a few miles later it shook its head and sat down. As both Meryl and Millie ran over to the direction of Vash they found him face down in the sand, his left leg twitching slightly as Millie crouched down towards Vash,

"Is he okay? That was a heavy fall and all…"

Meryl crouched down as well,

"He's unconscious… the fall must of cause him to pass out,"

Millie nodded, Meryl frowned as she examined his other leg noticing it was abnormally twisted she frowned.

"Millie can you take Vash inside? I think the idiot broke his leg."

Millie nodded as she flung him lightly over her shoulders carefully,

"Honestly the mans an idiot! What was he doing! He could have gotten himself killed!"

Meryl grumbled,

"He was coming for you Meryl, besides I'm sure Mr. Vash is fine, this is a scratch compared to the injuries he's received in the past."

Meryl nodded as she walked near Millie, her stomach churned as she felt nervous, slightly glancing at Vash's limp body she looked on with a feeling of dread. She needed more time to think this over, ever since she had learned the truth, she felt utter hopelessness and loneliness within herself. The questioned burden into her soul worse than anything she had ever experienced. Was she really in love with him now that she had learned the reason why he wanted to be with her in the first place? And more important, could she ever forgive him? She looked on sadly as she glanced towards the sky, wondering intensely why and when her life had become so complicated.

* * *

Hello, I hope you liked it, now that my finals are done (yay!)I can pay more attention this fic, if you guys have any questions e mail me 'bout them or review k', thanks to those that took time to review.

later.


	6. Found you?

'Were am I?'

Squinting slightly Vash got up, brushing off his red coat, momentary stopping, looking down he regarded his own red coat, hadn't he thrown it away?

Petals? Both red and violet?

He watched inamazementas they advanced towards the ground gently, vanishing slowly as they fell under his feat, he felt as if he was walking on the clouds as he looked down, watching his reflection in puzzlement.

Turning around he noticed someone far away, walking towards the person he could feel his hearth beat increase, he knew the person, but for some reason he could not point them out.

The person turned around, he came to realize it was a woman, she laughed as Vash got nearer. She stood were she was, smiling as he neared her. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to find out who she was, he had it on his tip of his tongue.

"Who are you?"

She smiled and laughed, taking hishands in hers she led him towards something familiar,

"Home,"

He whispered, they walked towards the home he shared with people he knew, but could not quite remember at the time who they were. Walking up to the front porch, he watched as more red and violet petals stated to descend onto the sandy floor, disappearing once it touched the sand.

"Why did you bring me here?"

Her smile faded as he watched her frown, shaking her head she sat down on the front steps of the porch, he walked over to her, sitting down near her. Vash watched as she drew little pictures on the ground, biting his lip nervously Vash watched as she drew a heart. Her frown turned to rage as she quickly got up and stomped on the heart, stopping momentarily as she turned her back to him, he watched as her rage turned on him,

"You told me you loved me!"

He looked up, shocked,

Meryl?

"I do love you!"

He jumped up from the porch,

"Liar!"

She hissed accusingly,

"No, I'm telling the truth!"

He walked up to her, her face still blurry, but somehow he knew it was her, she walked towards him and touched his face with her hand soothingly,

"Then kiss me and we will both find out the truth…"

She whispered as he watched her silently, her face still unrecognizable, he knew she was pleading with him, he nodded,

"Ok,"

Was all Vash could say before he closed his eyes and kissed her, opening them again as he felt her move, she laughed,

"So you really did love me,"

"I've always loved you…"

Her face was clear now,

This can't be….

There has to be some mistake,

He felt his throat dry up, the peddles turned red as he watched her smile,

Rem

……

* * *

Gasp?heh, didn't expect that did ya, a lot of more on its way. 

later


	7. And off comes the mask

He felt an enormous amount of pain radiate from one of his legs as he tried to shift it, quickly remembering why his leg hurt he silently cursed the animal under his breath for its lack of cooperation. Remembering the dream he felt a sense of foreboding, he, in his dreams had kissed Rem, instead of Meryl, so what does that mean?

"Meryl! He's awake!"

A heavy sigh was heard from behind Milly as she bent down towards Vash, he opened his eyes slowly, his vision blurred slightly and came back into focus, Vash looked up at Milly,

"Gee Mr. Vash that sure was a heavy fall,"

He gave a heavy sigh, grinning awkwardly he laughed,

"Yea, me and pain are old friends,"

"Milly, can you please leave so I can talk to Vash in privacy?"

His grin vanished as he watched Meryl from the bed he was laying in, why was she looking at him like that?

Milly felt the tension build in the room, but being able to do nothing only nodded lightly as she walked towards the door,

"Okay Meryl, see you later Mr. Vash,"

When they heard the door click shut Meryl turned her head away from Vash, her voice came out softly,

"What are you doing here?"

"Why else, to bring you home,"

Meryl slumped into a wooden chair and cupped her head into her hand, after a moment of silence, Vash spoke up,

"I know… I know what you wanted… and I'm sorry, I never knew what I jerk I was, I should of never left you alone, especially in the condition Knives was in, I should have been there and told you were I was going,"

He expected a response, but when he got none he hesitated a little, before continuing,

"If you want to know were I disappeared to, I got a job down at the bar, I really did, the reason why I never had money was because I wanted to buy you something."

He looked away in shame,

"Every time I left to work though, I had a need to drink, and at times I had more than I should of, I'm sorry,"

He breathe in and sharply exhaled, taking out a little box he opened it slowly to show her,

"This is what I was going to get you, a ring, Meryl, I lov-"

"Vash the Stamped don't you dare say that!"

She hissed out trough her teeth,

"Meryl…"

She laughed bitterly,

"At first, all I wanted was for you to understand that no matter what I loved you, and it broke my heart when you would keep secrets from me, I've always wanted to be with you, and have you love me for who I am and not be a replacement for some woman who died more than a century ago!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Rem!"

She screamed, her voice fell down to a mere whisper,

"She wasn't just a mentor to you was she? You loved her, and you're trying to replace me with her, now I understand why you cry out to her at night…"

"That's not true,"

"Isn't it?"

She replied coldly, as she stood up from her chair, he watched in horror as everything he wanted to say fell apart when he met her eyes, he could tell she had no sleep for the past few days and it worried him to see her so drained,

"Vash, I went to talk to Knives, and had a blood test sample, Vash, I'm related to Rem,"

He paused momentarily as his eyes grew wide,

"You….are…"

"Yes Vash! I'm related to her! After the results came in I pleaded with Knives to tell me everything he knew about you and Rem, and that's when I had no doubt that you really were using me for her, and I can't forgive you for that!"

Slowly getting up from the bed he mentally cursed himself for spraining his knee as he limply tried to walk over to her,

"Stay away for me Vash the Stamped!"

"Meryl, stop this I love you,"

"No Vash, you love Rem…"

"Meryl! Will you just listen to me!"

He clenched his fist into a tight grasp, trying his best to keep from yelling, that would only make things worse,

"I have Vash, and you've given me one too many excuses,"

She walked over to the door and opened it,

"Wait! Meryl!"

"We'll talk later Vash"

She looked up at him with a sad smile,

"You need rest,"

She slammed the door quickly as he heard her running towards the distance, he sat back onto the bed, he didn't feel like crying, but he felt like hitting something out of pure frustration. He wanted it to go away as he carefully fell back onto his bed, cautious of his sprained knee, it would regenerate in less than a week, then after it heals he would force her to listen to him. He knew she loved him, and maybe it was time for him to show her how much she meant to him. He didn't care what some stupid dream said, he loved her for many reasons, the way her cheeks flushed when she got angry, the way she smiles, the way she moves, the way her beautiful violet eyes shimmer in the moonlight, the way she snuggles against him, the way she lectured him about being an idiot but secretly enjoying it, she drove him crazy and he loved every minute of it.

He yawned loudly as he felt his eyelids grow heavy, it was getting dark outside as he was getting drowsy, tomorrow they would talk, today she was restless and it may have been because she lacked sleep, tomorrow would be better, he would talk sense into her, no more running away, he'd finally decided that tomorrow,

He would propose,

And she would accept…

Even if he had to tie her up and hog tie her to a chair and have Milly help him drag her to the church, he smiled at the thought of marriage, everything would work out in the end, he was sure of it...

* * *

Vash looked around, white feathers carelessly dropped onto the floor beneath him, vanishing into this air, he gave a sigh, all these dreams he was getting were irritating him, couldn't they just leave him alone? Couldn't they ever be pleasant dreams, like maybe have a dream were he has a supply of never ending donuts, beer would be good too…or maybe just food, some salmon sandwiched here and there… He felt himself shrink, Vash blinked a couple of seconds before he realized were he was, the ship, were all of the people were sleeping… He turned around and saw the reflection of a young boy, touching his face with curiosity Vash heard footsteps from behind him, 

"Vash! You good for nothin' little piece of scum were are you?"

Turning his head quickly his eyes widened in horror, he recognized that voice… he felt his whole body become numb, he trembled slightly as he looked around,

No one was there to help him,

"Vash,"

The voice slurred as it came closer, he frantically looked around for a hiding place, no such luck, he was drunk, and the more drunk he was, the worse he became. Vash ran towards the exit, remembering perfectly were it was located, after running for a period of time he had realized that the exit was no longer were it was supposed to be, he turned around and saw him coming.

"Vash… c-ome here you worthlesh little brat, how many thimes, have I told you not to come in'ere, now I have to teach you a lesson,"

He could see the drunken smile form on the mans lips, trembling heavily he managed to get out of the mans grasps, tears flowing down his cheeks as he tried to remember this wasn't real, it was just a dream, he couldn't hurt him, it was just a dream…

He tripped, getting up he tried to run, but was held down fast as an arm dragged him back and to a corner, he whimpered,

"Steve, I didn't mean it, I don't know how I got here…"

He shut his eye,

it's only a dream, it's only a dream….

"You worthlesh scum, don'th know why we even keep something like you on board,"

Steve dropped him harshly onto the floor,

"Look at ya, you're not even human, you're a freak,"

Vashes eyes gazed up towards Steves, unfocused, and yet so cold…

"But things like you need to learn there place,"

He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them, the wicket grin only grew as his drunken form slowly hunched down. Vash saw him back up a little and knew what was coming, Steve lifted his foot slowly, still smiling as it came towards Vash, as he watched it come he did the only thing he could do,

He screamed

* * *

"Vash! Please! Vash! Wake up!" 

He jumped off the bed, sweat trickled down his face as he tried to remember were he was, the orphanage,

"Mr. Vash, you scared me, are you alright?"

He looked up at Milly, he shook heavily and leaned on a wall for support, falling back onto his bed as pain shot from his injured leg, he extended a hand onto his face, trying to control his breathing, he laughed

"It really was just a dream… just a horrible dream…"

A worried look crossed over Milly's features,

"Mr. Vash?"

He smiled as he looked up at Milly, sighing as he fell back to his bed, his heart still pounding maniacally in his chest as he tried to relax.

"No Milly, I'm okay,"

"Are you sure?"

He nodded as he looked around frowning slightly he looked back up to Milly,

"Where's Meryl?"

"Well-"

She stopped as they heard whispers from the door, Milly frowned, walking towards the door he saw her open it, half of the kids scrambled out of sight, the others stood frozen to their spots,

"Alright, nothing to hear, all of you go outside to play and I don't want to see you in here again,"

She waged a finger at the remaining children,

"And if I catch you in here again I'll make sure to take away dessert, now tell all the others kids too, and don't let me catch you all again,"

They ran out of sight as her threat remained clear in their minds, she shut the door and looked at Vash,

"She's supposed to be outside taking care of the children…what were they doing in here… I need to check on them Mr. Vash, I'll be right back…"

She walked over to the door and left, leaving Vash alone, looking up at the ceiling he stared at it for a while as he waited for Milly to return, he wanted to tell her about his plan of action with Meryl and get an ok form her, he'd been contemplating with the issue when the door slammed open and closed sharply, he jumped up from his bed, twitching his eye a little as he felt the pain from his leg,

"Mr. Vash Meryl's gone!"

"What!"

"She's gone! I checked outside and they told me she was still in her room, so I went to her room, half of her stuff is still there but she wasn't, so I checked all over and found out that shed left earlier this morning in her car, "

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Vash…"

"No, no, no, no…."

"Mr. Vash... this isn't like her… I've known her long enough to know that this isn't like her... to run away from her problems…"

Vash slumped towards the floor,

"I just don't get it... what is she afraid of, is it… is it because I'm a plant…because I'm different…"

"No Vash, she loves you,"

"It must be because she's related to Rem…"

"Vash…"

She walked over to him and embraced him, trying to comfort him,

"Why does she keep running away…"

He chocked out as he started crying, Milly hushed him as she rocked back in forth, trying her best to comfort the blond gunman, wondering silently what her partner would accomplish by leaving. Stroking his hair in a smooth manner he stopped crying and looked up at Milly, as if something struck him hard in the face,

"What is it Vash?"

"It doesn't make sense…."

"What doesn't make sense Vash?"

"Meryl! How can she be related to Rem…"

"Wha.. what are you talking about…"

"Rem has no descendants! Her last descendant was wiped out completely about twenty-three years ago, if this is true… then…"

"Then what…."

"Ho no… no, no, no, I cant believe I fell for it…"

"Vash?"

She asked worriedly, his hysteria was scaring her,

"Milly, lend me your car!"

"but-"

"Milly please lend me you car,"

"Were are you going?"

"To find Meryl,"

She took her keys out of a pocket and handed them over to him, he bolted out of the room, not taking a second glance he got into the car and drove out to the dessert.

He watched the day go by, he kept his eyes peeled for a big structure, if his thoughts were right, then he had really screwed up… he saw a structure appear slowly in the distance, as he got nearer, he grimaced,

"A seeds plant,"

He parked the car and wobbled over to the door, stopping in front he was getting ready to break it open if possible, even blow it up, when it opened on its own , walking in he stayed alert for any sign of trouble, the lights turned on and he was greeted with his brothers presence,

"Vash, so good to see you, what do I owe this visitation too?"

"Cut the crap Knives were is she!"

Knives waved into the air,

"Were's who?"

"Meryl, were is she I know she's here!"

Knives friendly smile turned into laughter of delight as he placed a hand onto his face with a grin spreading over his features,

"Don't worry Vash, she'll never hurt you again…"

Knives pushed the button as a big screen behind him flickered on with information,

Welcome Vash…"

He lightly bent down, one hand extended backwards while the other tucked neatly under his chest,

"Welcome to the beginning of Eden."

* * *

Okay, confusing yes? no? Donuts? 

Humm, okay, don't worry, next chapter will explain everything, were almost at the end, there are about one or two more chapters, thanks to those that reviewed,

later,


	8. The Life of Vash the Stampede

Vash's eyes flickered around the room as the lights began to turn on automatically, everything, even down to the color of the panels, resembled the ship they grew in. As he quickly scanned his surroundings, his eyes fell heavily on an empty light bulb, but, his observation was cut short by a light chuckle.

"It's too late to save the humans Vash, they will be eliminated in a couple of hours,"

Knives looked over the expression on his brother's face after those words left his lips, it looked mystified, agonized, and terrified all at the same time,

Precious

Just precious

After all did he truly believe that he would even change after being with the humans for such a short time?

Pathetic

As Knives thought of this and how well it turned out he walked over to the screen,

"You see this Vash? Do you know what it is?"

Knives glanced over at the screen then leveled his eyes with Vash's,

"It's a virus unknown to the humans on this planet, once the countdown ends, it will simultaneously dispatch the virus in the form, of mechanical flies, the flies will then attach themselves to the humans and inject the virus into their bloodstream, then, the virus will spread into the human, killing them slowly and painfully, it was the best way I could think of in eliminating the humans,"

He chuckled in delight,

"One could say they died the way they lived, miserable,"

"Knives… you have no right to take away their chance to live!"

"They should never of had survived in the first place,"

"Humans are survivors!"

"Yes, but look at what there surviving on! Our Bretherein!"

Knives hissed,

"If they-"

Knives cut him off,

"Don't waste your breath brother, it won't matter in a couple of hours anyway,"

"I won't let you!"

Knives shook his head,

"And what are you going to do about it Vash? Jump around like an idiotic acrobat? Shoot me? That derringer won't do you any good."

Vash stern expression became grim, he should of known that Knives could easily hear the sound of a gun.

Vash took out the small derringer from his pocket, silently pondering if he could really aim another gun towards his brother,

"It may be small Knives, but even the smallest bullet can make a difference,"

Knives cool expression changed, a smile curved onto his lips, as if encouraging his brother to do it,

"You won't kill me Vash, you don't have it in you,"

The arm Vash held the derringer in shook lightly as he steadily aimed it at Knives,

"If I have to Knives, I will,"

The dark humor that Knives held suddenly vanished with a quick look into his brother's eyes,

"Idiot, I was going to let you watch me destroy mankind, but I might as well get you out of the way, once I insert your body into the bulb I will continue as planned,"

Vash glanced over the bulb,

"Knives, were is she,

"who?"

"You know what I mean I can still feel her aura,"

"Ah yes, our sister, dead,"

"Dead… what…"

"Sometimes Vash, sacrifices must be made for the better of our race, and in order for me to understand how we work one or two have to be sacrificed,"

It took Vash a minute to realize what he'd meant,

"You… you killed her didn't you…"

"I wouldn't call it killing Vash, more like collecting data,"

Vash clenched his fist, as angry tears streaked down his face, how could Knives be so calm after telling him what he just did to one of their own?

"Knives... you haven't changed at all.. Your not human Knives, YOU'RE A MONSTER!"

As those words left his mouth Vash felt his flesh rip open near his side, he crumpled to the floor with agony as Knives heavy breathing could be heard from across the room,

"DON'T YOU EVER COMPARE ME TO HUMANS!"

He walked over to were Vash stood crumpled and kicked Vash on the his wounded side. Vash screamed in pain as he clutched the side he was shot in, the pain Knives was sending him made him want to gag,

Kicking him repeatedly Knives face filled with contorted hatred,

"EVER!"

As he was ready to kick Vash once more he stopped, stood up straight, and regained his cool composure. Picking up the gun Vash idly held in his hand he threw it behind him, hearing it fall behind him he looked at Vash straight in the eyes, unfazed at the moment that his brother was hurting and gasping for air.

"Its seems you don't understand Vash, you've lost, so be a good little brother and get this through your idiotic head, I never wanted to join you and the humans, this was all an act to get you to believe you were winning, soon after you would take me to your destination were I could analyze you further to conclude the best way to proceed as planned with ought interruptions. Vash, you need help, the humans have twisted your mind, I'm here to save you, to take you away from this hell and into Eden, once I transport you into the bulb, you will be trapped there for your own good, from then on I will run test, I will cure you from your obsession of humans,"

It took a moment before Knives got an answer from Vash,

"I don't need help Knives, you're the one that needs it,"

Almost expecting it he shook his head, taking a red gun from his left pocket, he stood directly above Vash,

"Vash this is a gyromenotic sterilizer, created to sedate plants,

Knives aimed the gun at Vash's left arm,

"Stay still,"

Unable to move at the moment because of the pain inflicted to him earlier he watched his brother as he put into the gun a red liquid, as he looked on he remembered something,

"Knives… those dreams…"

"Fake memories and figment of you're past memories I was able to locate and configure as you slept, I had somewhat of a difficult task when it came to accession your memories though,"

Knives smiled,

"I had no trouble with Meryl though, humans are quite easy to mess with, after giving her the visuals of you and Rem together she became delusional. Sometimes I would have her kiss you in her dreams and you would call her Rem, other times I would have you and Rem together, kissing while she looked on. But, my favorite had to be the one in were you would break her heart by saying that you only loved her because she looked like Rem,"

He mocked sympathy,

"Poor spider, having to wake up in the middle of the night, wondering if what she dreamt was true,"

"Knives… if there is one thing I want to get straight is this, Rem and I never had that sort of connection, and if you were there to see it you would of realized that she was like a mother to me, she was never anything else besides my mother, and you cold-bloodedly took her away from me, and if you harmed Meryl… I will…"

Vash felt tears sting his eyes,

"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

"Vash, they were going to die anyway, I just did them both a favor by ending their lives early,"

Vash felt sweat trickle down his face as he watch Knives closely, hatred momentarily consumed him as he looked on at his brother, it then came painfully clear to Vash, he would have to take down his brother, but, in the situation he found himself in the moment, he had no idea in how to actually escape Knives, as he readied himself for the pain he closed his eyes.

A shot was heard,

But Vash felt no pain,

He slowly opened his eyes to realize that Knives was showing a surprise look on his face. Touching his chest Knives realized he was bleeding and staggered back from Vash, he let his gun drop to the floor, his face quickly enveloped in an emotional tantrum, unable to stand up he knelt onto the floor then fell, Vash was quickly by his side.

Vash held his brother close and felt his brother gasp, after a few moments of quiet solitude Knives, unable to speak, spoke telepathically to Vash,

'We could of created Eden Vash, it would have been beautiful, you, me, for us to have a future were we could live out our days peacefully, I thought that maybe, if I forced you into seeing it my way, you would finally understand that I did all this for you, for us,'

Vash softly responded,

'I know, but you know I could never allow the Eden you desire, there as much my family as you, our sisters and brothers are,'

Knives laughed mentally, it was not menacing, but a sad laugh, after a few moments past he looked up at Vash,

'Do you hate me Vash?'

This caught Vash by surprise, turning his head slightly he looked away,

'I… don't know,'

Knives smiled a little, his mental voice becoming weaker,

'I understand Vash, and I hope that in time, you can forgive me, but I can never change, not even for you,'

Knives gripped Vash's chest as he felt the pain, before dying Knives sent Vash one more mental note before closing his eyes and lying perfectly still.

"I'm sorry Vash, but I had to do it, I had to…."

Vash looked up, Meryl stood there, the derringer on the floor by her side, he nodded, shedding tears of sorrow he though of a million ways his brother could of lived, and then a million ways how his brother would come back and try to kill the humans. His brother would never change, his heart was tainted with the hatred of humans since he was young, wiping his tears away, he looked up towards Meryl, he didn't want her to see him like this, he would get her out of there as soon as possible and then come back, she's suffered enough already, as he was about to tell her she fell to the ground, getting up quickly with great difficulty he let Knives down gently and limped towards Meryl. Holding her like he did Knives he realized how cold she was,

"What's wrong Meryl?"

"Vash, I'm sorry I let him manipulate me,"

"Its okay Meryl, once I deactivate the machine we can leave,"

She shook her head, and looked up at him sadly,

"Vash, I'm no going to make it,"

"What… do you mean… I don't understand,"

"Vash, this isn't some fairytale story, this is life and in real life people die, even if you don't want them too people die,"

"What are you talking about, you're... your just tired and… you need rest…"

He finished weakly,

"Vash, I'm sorry, but before you came Knives took me to a room, and injected the virus into my system,"

She breath in heavily, as it suddenly sunk into him, he leaned down and embraced her in his harms tighter,

"Not you! Meryl please! Don't leave me!"

"I'm sorry Vash, but that's not up to me to decide,"

"Meryl!"

He sobbed into her chest as she weakly brushed his hair,

"I want you to know, that I do love you, and I'm sorry that I ever doubted you …"

His response was muffled as he cried into her shirt,

"I love you so much,"

"I know,"

Looking at her he looked down in one of his jeans and took out a small ring from his pocket,

"Meryl, will you marry me?"

"Vash…"

"Please Meryl,"

She looked into his eyes, before smiling and nodding,

"Of course I will, you broom head,"

He smiled a little as he took the ring and put it on her finger, it was a plain golden ring

"I'm sorry if it's not as pretty as it should be,"

She shook her head as tears streaked down her face,

"It's…. beautiful…….."

She closed her eyes as her hand fell to the floor, the small clink of the ring hitting the floor echoed through the room as she laid still in his arms, he shook her and begged her to open her eyes, when she wouldn't respond he gripped her tighter, the virus was worsening, and that's when he realized,

This wasn't a fairy tale,

This was life,

Life of a man, who brought misfortune and death to those around him,

This was the life of Vash the Stampede

* * *

Stay tuned, one chapter left, don't know which way it will swing, as always, thank you for the reviews.

Cinafran: yea I hate it when I do that, thanks.

Dark-pyro-angel-2: Yea I really am a killer with cliffy's, but I cant help it. (Cries)

Gothmiko: thank you

Aine of Knockaine: shocked?

Teya Yashitoda: I'll try to update faster,

Bloodstained Hands: thanks for your opinion, I really appreciate it,

Faery Goddyss: yea, hope this chapter cleared some things up,


	9. Last of the twins

He couldn't take it anymore

He got up slowly, almost reluctantly, in one day, he'd lost everything he'd ever truly cherished, he put her down gently, stoking her cheek softly he fell to the ground, never minding the pain he felt and held his hands onto his face, chocking on his sobs he quickly tried to regain his composure, he felt miserable, miserable and alone. Looking down he reached for the derringer, this wasn't the first time he'd ever though of suicide… He turned the gun idly, looking at it with fascination, this would solve all he problems. He ached, both mentally and physically, not only that he was exhausted, exhausted of fighting exhausted of running away, exhausted of losing people he cared about, just how much should one individual suffer?

_Click… Click… Click…_

Too bad there were no more bullet inside the gun,

He sighed and threw the derringer to the floor, killing himself was not the answer, no matter what, people still needed him and as long as he lived he would help those in need. Limping over to the screen, Vash saw the countdown, less than an hour and a half remained, plenty of time for him to deactivate it. With shaky fingers he set of to work, trying to figure out how to shut down the main computer with ought causing a damage or, if he knew his brother, he was sure that Knives would of set a-

The computer turned red as it blinked,

"_Process speed up, 40 minutes remaining,"_

"-trap,"

Crap, he set it off, trying to go in manually fastened the time, he watched the screen intently, looking down at the panel he started to type in commands,

"If I can't go in manually, then I guess I'll have to force my way in,"

The screen flickered off as Vash typed in the commands and pressed enter, momentarily giving a signed in relief he turned but stopped when the screen flickered back on,

"_Minus 10 minutes remaining, processed speed up due to hacking, prevention measure taken,"_

He cursed loudly, he wasn't fixing the problem, he was making it worse. He had to stop and think for a while, but found it difficult, he could barely stand up, how in the hell could he solve this? He stopped and took a deep breath, there had to be another way, he was wasting time he knew he didn't have,

"_Minus 5 minutes remaining," _

He looked at the computer, maybe a password was needed to deactivate it, he hit his head gently against the palm of his hand, of course, a code of some sorts. But what was it? As he typed in instructions a red panel appeared asking for the deactivation password,

"_Minus 4 minutes remaining,"_

He felt fear trickle down his spine, there were so many passwords he could of used, which one was it? He thought hard, and it hit him,

'Shangri-la,'

The last words Knives tried to tell him….

…before he died….

"_Minus 2 minutes remaining," _

Could he really trust that that was the word he needed?

"_Minus 1 minute remaining," _

He had no choice…

"_Connecting with satellites, launch will begin shortly,"_

He typed the word, Shangri-la, and pressed enter.

The computer stopped time, and for a moment he though it was going to commence launch,

"_Launch cancelled, deactivation success, disengagement with satellites will commence,"_

Vash breath out a sign of relief, he did it, he stopped it just in time. His eyes scanned the computer one more time before he would shut it down for good. As he was about to push the button, his eyes caught onto something he hadn't seen before, a file that was blinking blue. He opened the file, and read the information, as soon as he finished, he read it again, and then a third time to see if he was reading it correctly. He felt a flicker of hope enter his mind,

The antidote…..

There might be a chance….

Limping towards the door Meryl had come out of he pushed the button to enter, his breathing now raged as he tried his best to keep going. As he entered the room, he noticed it was large, white, and filled with lost medical technology, there were two large white medical cabinets on the left, on the right there was a long table that reached each side of the wall, a metallic cooler stood on the table, in the middle of the room there were two boards, On the far end he noticed the doors to another room, but quickly changed his view over to the cabinets. Ignoring the pain on his side he set off towards the cabinet, searching inside until he found needles he took one out and rushed over to the cooler, opening it he took out one of the many small white glass bottle filled with a green liquid. Opening the top he took the needle and started to insert the liquid into the needle until it was full. Rushing out he took the needle, and injected Meryl in the arm, throwing the needle he held her in his arms, and although his vision was somewhat blurry he took her back into the room and set her one of the boards, and waited.

* * *

A car slowly appeared on the horizon and stopped, two people came out, the man on the wheel, walked slowly towards the destination while the second passenger looked on quietly and soon joined him. They stood there for a while as she saw him bury a black and silver gun, near one of the newly made tombstones. As he finished he stood up, and quietly looked on, she took his hand and squeezed it gently, he looked at her, his eyes gentle, and filled with tears

"There was nothing you could of done for them Vash, please don't blame yourself,"

"Of course their was, I just didn't see it in time,"

Gazing at the two tombstones he chuckled sadly, she gazed up at him, his eyes never left his brothers tombstone as he started to speak,

"When me and Knives were young, we used to talk about how we would both construct a beautiful house, were we would have a vast garden. I would always ask him, to tell me about it and he would describe it down to the tiniest details. I would always asked him, if we could have geraniums, and he would laugh an ask why, I would grin, and would always reply by saying, 'there Rem's favorite'"

He signed,

"Guess we never got to it, our little 'Shangri-la,' he would call it that,"

"I'm so sorry Vash,"

He looked at her,

"why?"

"For what I did,"

"You didn't mean to…"

"I though he was going to kill you, I didn't know…"

"I know,"

He patted her gently on the back,

"You're so forgiving…"

She whispered,

"Time has a way of healing all wounds,"

She looked at the other tombstone,

"He had no right to take her life,"

He nodded in agreement, soon after he found the remains of the plant, it almost made him want to gag at what remained, it took all his strength to take her out and give her a proper barrier alongside his brother. He shuddered and looked at the second grave, since she really had no name, he called her Rebecca Millions, and alongside her was his brother Knives Millions. He looked down to Meryl, and realized she was shivering, taking of his coat he put it on her shoulder, she thanked him. Looking at the setting sun, he took her arm, and sighed as he looked at the tombstone were his brother and Rebecca rested peacefully one last time, he looked sadly at the horizon,

'Take care of him Rem'

He felt a tug, looked down at Meryl and realized it was time to go, he smiled warmly as he kissed her gently on the forehead, she smiled as she whispers the words,

"Let's go home,"


End file.
